In formal mentoring programs, training for the participants is critical to the success of the mentoring partnership. Mentoring is an intimate learning relationship that requires intentionality to make it work. Too often I hear about programs that weren’t successful and have resulted in formal mentoring programs getting a bad rap. There are many benefits to formal mentoring programs however achieving the desired objectives of the program doesn’t happen by accident. In addition to a thoughtfully crafted matching process, training for the mentoring partners is critical.

The three primary objectives of mentoring training are setting the framework, establishing a foundation and developing relationship skills.

Varying definitions of mentoring exist as well as differing expectations regarding how to “conduct” mentoring to generate desired outcomes. Establishing a common framework for participants sets the context, parameters and expectations within which the partnerships will take place. The relational mentoring model I use is based on a mutual learning relationship where both mentees and mentors set goals for what they want to explore during the partnership.

The training establishes the foundation for the relationship, serving as a facilitated first meeting between the mentees and mentors. The mentoring pairs complete exercises and engage in dialog to establish points of connection, find alignment and discuss candidly how they want to design their relationship. This intentionality supports the pairs to achieve their desired outcomes.

The training strengthens the relationship from the onset through skills development such as connecting cross culturally, bridging difference, generating trust, effective communication and sharing feedback.

There are no guarantees that a mentoring pair matched through a formal process will find points of connection and take a mutually active interest in the relationship. What I do know is that training matters. It is a fundamental aspect of implementing a formal program that sets up the participants for success, on their terms.

I was delighted to lead a workshop on “Diversity and Inclusion on Teams” for a class of engineering students at the University of Toronto last week. As part of the university’s Leaders of Tomorrow program, students can obtain a certificate in Team Skills.

Engineering. Leadership. Team Skills. Diversity and Inclusion. How remarkable! All these critical competencies offered in one program. More »

On Sunday I ran a 10k race in beautiful central Ontario. When I picked up my kit bag, my t-shirt was men’s size small/medium which was the smallest shirt they had. Too big. Again. Not a big deal you say. Not really. Except that I have so many men’s t-shirts from running races that do not fit because they are too big and too baggy. What’s frustrating is that in recent years more women are signing up to run races than men. In this particular race, there have been significantly more women than men participating for the eight years the race has been in existence. Why are only men’s style shirts available?

Now flip to the boardroom. Last week I was reading about the lack of progress women are making in obtaining boardroom seats. More »

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how to make lasting systemic social change. There are lots of methodologies and best practices and training programs around that serve a good purpose and yet the problems they are intended to resolve are still prevalent, in some cases getting worse.

Last week I attended a Change Lab workshop in Toronto, facilitated by Adam Kahane and Joe McCarron of Reos Partners. The Change Lab is an approach designed for working on complex social problems. Their version of a Change Lab has  “Theory U” at its core.  The process is systemic, participative and creative. Kahane explained that for complex problems where we don’t know how to get from A to B, where the answer is around the corner, More »

Part 1: Social Media in Bystander Action – A Help or Hindrance?

Part 2: Positive Bystander Action: What’s at stake?

Positive bystander action is as varied and diverse as we are. There is no best way to be as a bystander. It begins by being yourself and ‘noticing’ in a way that is comfortable for you.

Words that describe a bystander include:

A bystander is not a…

Bystanders do not speak for or ‘over the person’ on the receiving end of the uncomfortable comment or action. Being a good bystander comes more from humanistic empathy than having a good theory or methodology. And like most things, we get better with practice. Start by simply noticing. Pay attention to uncomfortable moments. This raises your awareness and your sensitivity. More »

Part 1: Social Media in Bystander Action – A Help or Hindrance?

Part 3: Positive Bystander Action: What Does It Look Like?

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies,
but the silence of our friends. (Martin Luther King, Jr., 1968)

The story below illustrates the impact of the silence of our friends. 

A technology company was having trouble attracting and retaining women engineers. One day a group of project managers and engineers were having a meeting to review a new product. There were 9 men and 1 woman in attendance. One of the men said “This remote is so stupidly easy to operate that even my wife can use it.” No one raised an eyebrow or spoke up about this comment. After the meeting the woman’s boss asked her, “Why didn’t you say something?” and she replied “Why didn’t you?”

The woman left the company shortly after this incident. True story? Unfortunately so. An isolated incident? Unfortunately not.

Micro inequities such as this one accumulate over time causing a culture of stress and anxiety as a result of not feeling valued or respected. Eventually people will go elsewhere. More »

Part 2: Positive Bystander Action: What’s at Stake?

Part 3: Positive Bystander Action: What Does It Look Like?

Recently I watched a CNN clip hosted by Don Lemon talking about how social media affects bystander reaction. The two recent examples cited were Bill Nye “the science guy” fainting on stage and Anthony Barre being gunned down on the street in New Orleans. Claims were made that people tweeted about Bill Nye rather than help him and that people posted video of Anthony Barre bleeding on YouTube. The sense I got from this CNN segment was that social media played a role in the irresponsible action or non-action of bystanders in both instances. “Tweet first, act later” was the sub head on the screen. The unfortunate truth is that these two incidents illustrate what often does happen in pubic situations where people fail to act or act in ways that seem irresponsible or without compassion. And it has nothing to do with social media.  

Lena West, a social media strategist commenting in the discussion, acknowledged that although there is a bit of a “scooping culture” out there where some people want to be first to “report” a story, that whether a person steps in to help has nothing to do with whether the person had access to twitter or Facebook – that the actions of a few people are not representative of everyone who is active in social media.  I agree. Bystander apathy is an age old problem. More »

Recently I participated in a conversation with colleagues about the feeling we have that a “paradigm shift”  is happening in organizations. There is a movement from “managing diversity” towards creating inclusive work cultures. Another way of describing it is making the shift from “counting the mix” to “engaging the mix” in working together.  Of course the bottom line in all this is…well…the bottom line.

Leaders in organizations are now realizing that developing and retaining a diverse group of high performing employees is a business imperative. We work with people from around the globe, whether locally or virtually. What exactly is an inclusive culture? How do we know when we have it or not? What does it look like? Feel like? Sound like? More »