“Cultural intelligence means being skilled and flexible about understanding a culture, learning more about it from your on-going interactions with it, and gradually reshaping your thinking to be more sympathetic to the culture and your behavior to be more skilled and appropriate when interacting with others from the culture.” Thomas and Inkson

Every relationship we have is diversified in some way such as differences in thought and style, work and life experience, education and cultural background and even whether a morning or night person. In fact, our ability to bridge difference in our relationships is probably the most influential skill for creating high performing working relationships.

The increasingly global business environment as well as the on-going shortage of talent is requiring organizations to reach beyond their typical closed circles. As organizations become more multi-cultural people are required to interact and build relationships with people who are culturally different. In recent years, cultural intelligence (CQ), the ability to connect across cultures, is a new measure for leadership competence which has emerged. Success in business and organizations means developing CQ to enhance relationships with customers and clients, industry experts, co-workers and leaders. As the mix of people with whom one interacts diversifies, so must her/his range of skills expand.

The challenge is communication. We must get beyond surface-level difference and seek deeper level points of connection. Deep-level similarity is discerned only through extended and individualized interaction … the challenge is to look below the surface-level differences to find similarities in values, attitudes, knowledge and skills. This connection requires talking. If we don’t talk, we won’t find any way to connect which impedes generating trust – a vital aspect of relationships.

Building intercultural relationships means “allotting time, giving the person time, spending time with the person, getting to know the person, and really giving the person the benefit of the doubt that you’re going to trust them and they’re going to trust you.”  (Black professional)

Experiential learning is critical to the development of a high CQ. Where do we obtain the experiential learning? Through being in relationship with each other.

Each of us comes from different cultural backgrounds, education, life experience and beliefs with different customs and rituals. We tend to believe OURS are the RIGHT ones. Intercultural relationships require that we RESPECT another’s experience as valid in their world. Being curious and open to possibility. Intercultural relationship skills training provides the basis for connecting across cultures.