Dream Your Own Dream Free of Should’s and Ought To’s – Here’s How:

It’s the time of year when everyone is making plans and setting goals and stating resolutions for the new year. I’ve seen many posts on planning, goal setting and how to have your best year ever. It can be quite exciting. It can also be intimidating. So much pressure to do more, accomplish more, be more. Heck, even I’m talking about finding your ‘more-in-me’ which can be construed to mean bigger, better, bolder. And yes, you might be ready to take a big bold step, leaping across tall buildings in a single bound. Great!

But do not feel like you ought to be leaping across the sky or that you should be manifesting sky-high dreams. Make your dream your own. Don’t concern yourself with what anyone else is doing. The activities of others may give you ideas and inspiration, however, don’t let it overwhelm you. Especially if you are feeling stuck or confused. What matters is that you have your dream.

“Dreams are powerful. They inspire us to new heights. Dreams are our deepest and most dearly held hopes and aspirations…They enable us to live differently…Dreams help us overcome challenges and obstacles…It doesn’t matter what your dream is or how big it is. Just so long as realizing it will add a powerful spark to your life.” Greg Wells, Ph.D., Author – The Ripple Effect.

The Bigness of Your Dream Is Relevant Only To You

About six years ago, when I was going through a tough time in my life, my dream was to wake up in the morning with enough energy and feeling good enough to get out of bed. Days went by where I was so emotional and exhausted that I wanted to hide from the world. I felt lost and confused. I was falling behind in work commitments when I’m usually reliable. I was staying away from people because I didn’t want to answer questions or be told what I ‘should’ do to feel better.

This dream to just be able to get out of bed in the morning was huge for me because I had no idea how to make it happen.

Be Your Own Dream Catcher

Dreams can be crystal clear one moment and then morph into something else the next moment. Dreams change. That’s the nature of dreaming. Don’t get caught up in figuring out the ‘just right’ dream for you but rather, something that’s important to you now. You always have the option to change or evolve your dream. Here are a few questions to help you be your own ‘dream catcher’.

• What’s your wish for yourself right now, wherever you are in your life? Your unique situation or place in the world.
• What would you like to be different? Anything. No censoring.
• What would be amazing for you? Don’t worry what anyone else might think.
• What would make your heart sing? Make you sing? Perhaps a corny question, ponder it anyway.
• What might be possible for you if your dream came true? For now assume it will come true. Don’t be concerned about knowing how to get there.

As you ponder these questions, allow yourself some free wheeling thinking. Go for a walk, a run, to the gym – move your body. Get some oxygen flowing through your veins to allow the energy of your dreams to flow too. When we’re feeling stuck, moving our bodies literally, can help us move energetically. Notice what ideas start to bubble up to the surface. Pay attention to themes and the ones that are most appealing.  Notice how you feel.

Dealing With Your Saboteur

Dreaming can evoke a variety of feelings such as optimism, excitement and possibility. And just when you get an inkling of a feel good factor from your dreams, your inner critic, gremlin or saboteur voice (whatever you like to call it) might start chirping. It often begins nattering the moment we start articulating our dreams. It can squash an idea so quickly and our feelings turn to fear, pessimism and lethargy. In these moments, the trick is to get back to the possibility feeling side of the dream. Your wish for yourself.

The best way I’ve been able to figure out to handle the saboteur voice is, first, acknowledge that it is there. What we resist persists. So we want to develop the ability to notice the voice and then choose what we want anyway, and to not let it stop us. It’s about courage and stepping into the unknown. The saboteur will tell us all the reasons why not to do something and how we will fail. We have to be courageous and choose our dream anyway. Even when we don’t know how to get there. The more we do this, the more we become comfortable with not knowing. That’s the courage part. “I want X for myself. I don’t know how I’m going to make it happen just yet, but I’m going to trust myself to figure it out, step by step by tiny step.”

Which leads to the second part – take action. Figure out one small step you can take. One thing you can do to realize your dream. Don’t worry about whether it’s the right step. Moving is what matters. The path is made by walking. I put together an exercise to assist you in identifying one step, one action you can take towards to realizing your dream. You can access the First Step To Finding More-In-Me Exercise here.

Dream Shifting: From Getting Out of Bed To Creating A Movement

How did I eventually get my energy back to get out of bed? I had downloaded a set of breathing exercises developed by Amy Weintraub designed to help with mood. Every morning I would practice the breathing exercises. Day after day. Eventually, my energy lifted enough for me to get on my yoga mat on the floor beside my bed. In addition to moving my breath, I began moving my body through some yoga postures. From there I finally made it back outside running. Bit by bit I realized my dream of feeling good again in the mornings and began looking forward to my days.

Time went by. Progress was the usual forwards, backward and around in circles. I’ve shared some of my more-in-me story previously. In a nutshell, I’ve always had a wish to do something meaningful with my life. To engage the leader in me to make a difference and give it all I’ve got. I don’t have the More-In-Me Movement all mapped out. I know the end result of what I want to accomplish. I have ideas about activities and how to make a difference. Honestly, I get a little nervous sometimes. Every day I choose my dream to spread the More-In-Me Movement around the world which means I have to choose courage. I have to choose being ok with not knowing. And I’m choosing to be transparent and share my journey with you to encourage you to believe in you, pursue your dream and find your more-in-me.

Dream Your Own Dream Recap

• Open up to the idea of possibility by reflecting on what matters to you. What’s your wish for yourself, now?
• Your dream only needs to be relevant to you. You dream your dream. Let others dream their dreams. Every person’s dream is significant.
• Acknowledge your saboteur and choose your dream anyway.
• Build your courage by becoming comfortable with not knowing the exact way forward.
• Move your body to get oxygen – and ideas – flowing.
• Take action. Figure out one step – even the tiniest, simplest step – and take it. Let the outcome of that step guide you in which step to take next.

Finding your more-in-me at this moment might be to get out of bed. it might be leaping across sky scrapers. Remember it’s YOUR ‘more-in-me’. It’s your dream. I believe you have more in you. You can create what you want for yourself. Step-by-step-by-tiny-step.